Dhammy Kelly's Blog

To the prettiest lady I know😘😘😘 You are pretty and you know it. Keep smiling and always walk with your shoulders high! This is a toast to us! For the men who have us, the losers who left us and the lucky people who are still going to meet us. Send this to only fifteen pretty ladies including me if you consider me one of the prettiest ladies on your list. Please make someone feel good today...... So hit up fifteen pretty ladies!

A man fainted in front of CBN today morning, people rushed to him and someone said bring some water and pour it out on him. The man opened his eyes and replied no try am oooooo .if I needed water I whould have fainted in front of water board. So pls look at where I fainted and do the right thing. looooooooool..................

Don't laugh alone o....  Imagine......... An eight year old boy and seven year old girl went to their teacher and asked "Sir, can a 7yr old girl get pregnant?" The teacher said NO. The boy said "I told u, let's go and continue from were we stop😄😄😄🙈🙈😂😂😂😂😂😂No😂be😂😂me 😂o...

Nigerians and their respective way of thinking. I can also bet 90% of those reading who will be reading this piece are guilty of this including myself .1. When a guy and a lady are seen discussing, they are dating, 2. If a guy tells a lady to come, he wants to woo her, 3. All old women looking unkempt are witches, 4. Anybody that is too rich has done money ritual ,5. A lady that is a Nurse had better wear her uniform when walking out the clinic before people will start thinking she went for an abortion 6. Every politician embezzles money, 7. All wealthy men have joined the occultist group, 8. All lawyers are liars, 9. Philosophers are not Godly 10. If a pastor has plenty members in his church, he is using hand of god (Jazz), 11. If somebody is in the university, he or sheis better than those in polytechnic and colleges of Education, 12. Every Musician has joined Illuminati, 13. All Traders do cheat, 14. All men are wicked or all men are the same, 15. If yo

Still In LOVE With Your EX ? Stop drowning your heart in more pain.Your heartless Ex is obviously happier without you now.You don’t need to try over calling and texting him/her anymore.Why crying over someone who played with your heart, body and wasted your time.No matter how much you cry,tears won’t bring that person back to your life.Come on, dry your precious eyes because everything will be okay.He or she left, and without a word or without a sensible reason but life goes on.Your ex left you to give room for other serious people to treat you better.He or she left you with bitter sweet memories but dont forget,he or she gave you experience too.Breathe and let go.Trying to talk to him or her,trying to figure out where you went wrong and wasting even more time to check up on your ex won’t do you good.Try as much as you can and let go.Though it hurts now and it will still hurt later, but stay strong and stay positive. Don’t quickly rush into a new relationship,first give yourself

When i get a notification that "Bible App needs Update"  What does the bible need an update for? Did Adam eat another Apple? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Drop ur comment

Once there was a farmer who lost his watch in barn. For farmer that lost watch had very deep sentimental value. So, he searched all over to find watch. Even after searching all, among hay and corners of barn for long he couldn’t find the watch. At last he gave up and asked the help of some children playing outside barn. He promised to reward them if they would find his lost watch. After knowing that they can get reward, children hurried inside the barn to start searching. They went through all around and all the stacks of hay lying there but couldn’t find the watch. After trying for long children were not able to find that watch. They felt tired couldn’t look for watch anymore so they left. After children left farmer was thinking to give up the thought of looking for watch. Same time a child came to him and asked farmer to give him another chance to find that lost watch. Farmer looked at him and thought for while and said, “Why not..!! Sure you can try if you want.” So, farmer

When James was a college student, he had admired a lovely sports car in one dealer‘s showroom for a long time. He knew that his parents could afford it and told them, that this car is all that he wanted as a gift in a day of his graduation. Graduation day came and father had called James into his private office. He told him: „I am very proud to have such a good son like you.” He told him how much he loved him and handed him a lovely wrapped gift. James felt disappointment, but he was curious to know what it was, so he opened the box and saw a leather-bound Bible. „You are so wealthy and all you can give me is a Bible?” – James shouted at his father with anger and left the house. Time passed and James became a successful businessman. He was happily married and had two children. Their family lived in a beautiful house. However, his soul still hurt due to broken relationships with his father. James did not see him since his graduation day. One day he received a note, which told that h

I salute the strength of a WOMAN ● changes her name ● changes her home ● leaves her family ● moves in with you ● builds a home with you ● gets pregnant for you ● pregnancy changes her body ● she gets fat ● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth ● even the kids she delivers bear your name till the day she dies... everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that u benefit from..... sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty. So who is really doing whom a favour? Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman. ​Being a woman is priceless​ Happy women's week! Pass this to every woman in your contact to make her feel proud of herself. Rock the world ladies! Salute to you ladies! MY DEFINITIO

As I sat working yesterday, my 12 year old son Micky walked to me and said Daddy I want to tell you something that will make you relax. My eyes went dim. He asked, when you fly in an aircraft do you know the pilot?  What a question!. I answered in the negative. Then he followed but you are usually relaxed? I said yes. He then asked, when you ride in a train do you see and know the driver? I said no. He then followed again but you are usually relaxed? I said yes. He queried me again, when you ride in a bus do you know the driver? I said no. Then he followed but you relax in the bus and I answered yes. At this point he said so why do you entrust your life to humans and relax knowing they will take you to your destination and yet do not trust and relax when you know God is is control?. I blinked! He concluded Daddy step out of your fear and relax God the most experienced pilot and driver of your life is in control! Indeed he is in control!!.

Please let's contribute to dis topic as a matured once FOR THE MATURED MINDS ONLY: A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friends house, where a wedding reception was taking place. He responded that he would be too busy throughout the day in the office, and gave her some money to use as taxi for transport. He left for the office. The wife took a Taxi to the wedding reception,there she met a fine Girl and they got talking to each other. Soon they became friends. In the evening when everyone was leaving, the Girl asked the Woman how she was going home. She replied that her husband was too busy in the office to pick her up so she would use a taxi. The Girl responded; "My boyfriend brought me here and would be coming to pick me up. I just spoke to him on the phone and he's on his way. Why don't you join me in his car and we would drop you at your house"The woman agreed. A few minutes later, her husband's car arrived. The Girl jumped into the front p

LET'S TALK LOVE It's quite a set back to know that in this present age 9JA girls still think being the first to say "I Love You" or to ask a guy out will make her appear cheap.. Sincerely Buhari is not the only problem this country is facing, you ladies are our problem too!.. You like a guy, at least it's evident with the way you smile sheepishly when you are with him but to open that your mouth and say 'Paul I love you, can we date?' is now a problem abi? Wait! will you die if you let your feelings known? You scream to high heavens "What a man can do; a woman can do better" Oya come and do better let's see na.. You go to BBM and Whatsapp updating emotional statuses, my dear that style doesn't work again! Off your data, come to the real world and 'toast' that young man!.. so many times ladies have lost potential husbands to this old way of thinking "I don't want him to think I'm cheap"... Okay oh no problem

Two guys were drinking in a bar. As they were drinking, they started arguing, one guy pounce on his friend and started beating him. . After a long beating he realised that his friend was no longer breathing, he already died instantly. Then the guy started running with his shirt full of blood.Those who were watching the fight started chasing him. . He ran to the house of a Christian man, knocked and said, "Can u please hide me, i have killed a person and people are chasing me." . The Christian man replied , "Where am i going to hide you in my one room apartment?" The muderer said "There is no time to waste here, just think of anywhere you can hide me." . After a long thinking, the Christian man said to the murderer, "Give me your shirt and take my shirt but remember to keep my shirt clean" They exchanged their shirts.Then as soon as the Christian man opened the door, people started beating him and was badly injured that h

IF TRULY I BELONG TO THE KITCHEN If truly I belong to the kitchen, If being party less is my identity, If bed room is my only home, If the other room is my certificate What about late prof Dora Akunyili, The legacy she left behind, How soon u forget Mary slessor All twin born celebrate  her. Didn't you remember Chimamanda Adiche The Glory she brought to this great nation Have you forgotten Ngozi Okonjo? The formal world Bank boss. If truly I belong to the kitchen, Your existence will be questioned My gender gave birth to you. What you are today is my attribute. If truly I belong to the kitchen, No teachers to educate you, No doctors to treat you every month I gave birth to them all. The Creator who created you Sees  u as an incomplete being He made me to make u whole, And not to belong to the kitchen. Imagine a world without a female gender? Imagine a world of  a same sex. Imagine a world without mothers How senseless it will be without me. A

WORTH READING . Just two years after our marriage, my husband brought up the idea of asking his Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. His father passed away while he was still very young. His mum endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to the university. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect or imagine of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started preparing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly, he lifted me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother". Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest my head on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment, put me as smallish as I am into his pock

Ⓜ Who is a MAN A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister. He sacrifices his dreams for just a smile on his parents face. He spends his entire pocket money on buying gifts for the lady he loves just to see her smiling He sacrifices his full youth for his wife & children by working late at night without any complain. He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them for lifetime. He struggles a lot & still has to bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss. His life finally ends up only by compromising for others' happiness. If he goes out, then he's careless If he stays at home, then he's a lazy If he scolds children, then he's a monster If he doesn't scold, then he's a irresponsible guy If he stops wife from working, then he's an insecure guy If he

For most Christians, the Bible or the Holy Bible as many call it is their yardstick. The book is revered, believed in some cases to possess magical powers and is also regarded as the law.  Many will however be shocked by some verses of scripture in the Bible that they have not come across before. Here they are:   1. Deuteronomy 25:11  This Bible verse is weird, funny and kind of scary. Deuteronomy 25:11 says :   “When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.”     2. Psalms 137:9  This Bible verse is confusing and scary at the same time. It says:  “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”   3. 2 Kings 2: 23 – 24 Elijah was obviously in a bad mood here, no other way to explain it. 2 Kings 2: 23 – 24 says:  “And he w

Once a lawyer was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling alone! Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat down on the berth opposite to him. Lawyer was pleasantly Happy! The lady kept smiling at him! This made him even more Happy! She got up and sat next to him! Lawyer was now bubbling with Joy She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear, "Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me." Lawyer stared blankly at her! He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote: "I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say." The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him! He took her note, kept it in his pocket! He got up and told her in clear tones... "Now shout & scream!!" MORAL: DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT

There is the need for youths who want to get married someday to have a good orientation about the institution before they go into it.  This is in order to reduce the rate at which marriages get broken in the society. Marriage is gradually becoming a failed institution with the rate at which people are failing at it. Some people have little or no regard for this timeless tradition as they see no reason why they should be in it in the first place. Many people venture into marriage without having a clue about what it entails. Some see it as the perfect time to get adorned in ceremonious outfits while being regarded as the most important entity in that gathering. The youths in our society should be groomed and prepared for marriage as they focus on developing themselves. In this part of the world, people will regard you as being irresponsible if you fail in keeping a good home while being married. Spinsters and bachelors should be prepared to make some sacrifices before they get comm

Where are the English Students? Let's see who gets this correctly. The woman who ____ apples also ____ oranges. (A)sells/sells (b)sell/sells (C)sells/sell (D)sell/sell drop your comments...

*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER* *Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS* *INSTRUCTIONS:* *ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS.* *ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS* *1.* You have dated a girl for *two* years, eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)* *2.* You bought a phone for your girlfriend and she gave it to another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)* *3. For Boys* You're dating around 15 girls and every girl is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s *(a)* Plot a graph of girls against prices of phones. *(15marks)* *(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)* *4.* You are dating other peoples' sisters yet you don't want to see any guy with your sister. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)* *5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than 30,000k. Your daughter

A couple married for more than 60 years. They shared everything and talked about everything, They never even kept any secrets from each other except for one. Women kept a shoe box in top of her closet and told her husband never to open it or ask about it. For all these years, her husband never talked about it. One day old lady got very sick and doctor said that she can’t recover from that disease. At that time they tried to sort out their affairs, old man took out that shoe box from top of closet and took it beside his wife. She agreed to tell her husband about what was in that box. When old man opened it he found out two crocheted dolls and a stack of money equally to $95,000. Old man got curious and asked her about its content. She said, “When we were married. My grandmother told me the secret of Happy married life. Secret was never to argue. She told me that if i ever got angry with you then i should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.” Old man was so moved, he had tears in h

Men Will Be Men One day a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the bedroom and then hid under the bed...When the husband came back home, saw the letter and read it, he replied on the same paper and then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was wrong..really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!" The husband walked out of the room and left. In tears and very upset, the woman got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what the husband wrote on the letter. When she got the letter, it said: "

Michelle and I had been dating for nearly three years when we decided to break with the Christian sexual ideals I was raised with. I carried those standards with me into college and deep into our relationship not just because I felt obligated to by God or my family, but because I genuinely agreed with them. The logic of waiting for marriage was comfortable to me; if you have sex with your girlfriend, I reasoned, it seemed nothing would be left for marriage but tax benefits. In our high school, located in the county leading our state in teenage pregnancy rates, Michelle was a social anomaly. She had had only one boyfriend by senior year and she didn’t drink or frequent our town’s one night club. She was a member of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, a church-goer, first chair trumpet player, and smiling every time I saw her. And rather than a frumpy-looking-high-school-virgin stereotype, she was a knock-out: dark-complexioned, bright-smiled and well-endowed. Our romantic relatio

!!!!!!!!   JOB WAHALA !!!!!!!!!!!! A graduate in Biology from University of Benin was having difficulty in finding a job. He saw an advert in one of the daily newspapers for a job at a zoo. In the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla, which had been tourists attraction has died so they needed someone to dress up & pretend as gorilla. The graduate was embarrassed, but since the salary was OK, he accepted the job. The 1st day, he put on the gorilla skin & entered the cage, he started jumping up and down, beat his chest & roared like gorilla. The next day, he put on a gorilla skin & started moving around the zoo again & mistakenly entered another cage and found himself staring at a lion. The lion roared & rushed towards him. The scared graduate quickly forgot that he is a gorilla & started shouting like human, "Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto him,knocked him to the ground & whispered in his ear "Sodiq" it's me

That awkward moment when after inserting a plate 💿 in your dvd and find out its a porn video.😳😳....immediately, nepa takes light and brings it back in the night when u entire family has gathered to watch d film showing last memory 💽.... U don die 🙀🏃🏃🏃🏃.. And the witches and wizards in your village will be like *ITS OUR WORK O*       *SOFT WORK* LOOOOLLL....

WHO IS THE MOST STUPID? PETER: "I want my money now!"  JOHN: "I will kill myself so that I won't pay you". ​he pulled a gun and shot himself dead ​ PETER: "Hahaha...  If you think u'll get away with my money u r wrong, I will follow u until u pay me!". ​he takes the gun and shot himself dead as well.​JAMES was watching from a distance he laughed and said: "These guys are funny, I must watch this till the end"... *he also took the gun and killed himself! Who is the most stupid out of them? LOL

One doctor became the greatest surgeon in the country and became the president of the National society of surgeons. For this reason, a celebration in his honour was held. But he was sad. His friend came up to him and said: – You achieved something that others can’t even dream about – you became the greatest surgeon. Why are you so sad? – The thing is that I achieved something that I didn’t even wanted, – the surgeon said, – I never wanted to be a surgeon and now I can’t escape from it. If I would suffer a failure then maybe I would have a chance to do something that I really love. And now I am chained to a thing that I don’t even like. – You must be joking? – The friend exclaimed, – the biggest honour for a surgeon is to become the president of a National society. Your wife is happy, your children are happy. Everyone has the highest respect for you! – But I don’t respect myself – that’s what is wrong. I wanted to be a dancer, but my parents were against it, and I’ve listened to t

Must read very useful: 😴😀 SOMETHING YOU            MIGHT HAVE NOT            KNOWN And NEED            TO KNOW !! 🐜  Ants Problem:        Ants hate Cucumbers.        "KEEP the skin of         Cucumbers near the         Place where they are         or at Ant Hole.  🎆  To make the Mirror         Shine:         "Clean with Sprite"   💨 To remove Chewing         Gum from Clothes:         "Keep the Cloth in         the Freezer for One         Hour" 💭   To Whiten White         Clothes:         "Soak White Clothes         in hot water with a         Slice of Lemon for 10         Minutes"  🙇  To give a Shine to         your Hair:         "Add one Teaspoon         of Vinegar to Hair,         then wash Hair"  🍋  To get maximum         Juice out of Lemons:         "Soak Lemons in Hot         Water for One Hour,         and then juice them" 🍞  To avoid smell of        Cabbage while      

I met  my Maths teacher(uncle dare) last week.We greeted and he asked for directions to GT Bank, I told him to make a 360 turn and walk for like 1.8 meters, then find the coefficient of X using Pythagoras theorem and round it up to the nearest tens. He'll will see a big pharmacy which is perpendicular to his right, then make an obtuse angle turn, he'll  see the bank at a distance of about the logarithm of 7 and using four figure table to the Anti- log. Let him feel what I felt when I was in school....Am Listening now on  Radio he's lost.😊😘😃😄👌😅😂😂😂😄.... Na Bad tin..?

Read the revealing post by Nigerian journalist Jaafar Jaafar on the unaired part of Mrs Aisha Buhari's controversial interview with BBC Hausa Service: ''At the heat of the intense pressure mounted on the BBC to stop airing the remaining part of the controversial Aisha Buhari interview a few days ago, I had the privilege of listening to the interview before it was fully aired. My good friend, the Head of the Abuja bureau of the BBC, Naziru Mika'il Abubakar, invited me to his office for comment on the interview, and directed that it be played to me before recording my comment. Listening to the president's wife passionately expressing herself on how her husband runs Nigeria left me cringing. Reading between the lines, I realized Mrs. Buhari was sending SOS to Nigerians to save her bewitched, servile husband from the clutches of the Aso Rock witches, popularly known as "Aso cabal". The Buhari I knew before election was not the obtuse person we have today as