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Showing posts from January, 2017

Maths Quiz

*Math Quiz* Where are the mathematicians? Here is a brain teaser: Quantitative Reasoning. A house wife forgot her bank account *PIN CODE* which is five digits number, but luckily she remembered some hints on how to recall this *PIN*. Here are some of the clues 1) The *1st* digit is a square of the *2nd* 2) The sum of the *2nd* and *3rd* is 10 3) The *4th* is equal to the *2nd* plus *1* 4) The *3rd* and the *5th* makes *14* 5) The sum of all the digits is *30* What is the *PIN CODE*?

I Can Do It Better

I can do it better ! In a street accident, a woman tried to help the victims but suddenly a nurse came and said… ‘Miss, excuse me! I am a nurse and i can do it better. Step back.. I’ve had a course in first aid and I’m trained in giving first aid and CPR.’ The woman stepped aside and watched the procedure and said, ‘If you need a doctor, I’m just behind you.’The nurse turned and looked at the woman in dismay. Humility counts! Stay humble. If you will go far in life, you will need to drop your pride and treat people right. Pride only drives people away because it stinks. Be humble!

EXPLAIN GOD

Explain God When given a third-grade homework assignment to "EXPLAIN GOD,"  this is what 8-year-old, Danny Dutton, of Chula Vista, CA, had to say.By Danny DuttonOne of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so therewill be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.God's second most important job is listening toprayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this.God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere, which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going over your Mom and Dad's head asking for something they sai

Always Be Nice

A poor boy who was begging from door to door to feed his hungry stomach, decided he would ask for a meal at next house. However, at the next house he lost his nerve when a lovely young girl opened the door. So instead of a meal, he asked for a glass of water. The girl thought, he looked hungry. So, she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, & asked thereafter : 'how much do I owe you for this ? You don't owe me anything, she replied. Mother has taught us never to accept pay for kindness. He said, then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Years later, that girl (now a woman) became critically ill, and the local doctors tried their possible best to save her life but they couldn't cure her. They finally sent her to the big city where specialists studied her rare illness. Dr. Kelly was called in for the consultation, when he heard the name of the town where she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately, he rose & went down the

ANOTHER RAPE TECHNIQUE IN TOWN.*

🎙 *ANOTHER RAPE TECHNIQUE IN TOWN.* 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃 Please inform your wife, Lady friends and female children to be very careful. A woman was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police  reports was raped by a gang before being dumped at a bus station! Though she was unable to remember the events of the previous evening, tests conducted revealed that she had been raped repeatedly. There was a trace of Rohypnol in her blood. Rohypnol, is presently being used as a date rape drug. It is actually a small sterilization pill which is now being used by rapists to drug their targets at parties. The drug makes the mind of the target (would be victim) go blank so that she does not remember anything that transpired and worse still, the drug sterilizes the victim so that she doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist need not worry about having his identity revealed later by a paternity test. The real bad news is that the drug's side effects ARE NOT TEM

NA BY FORCE TO MARRY?

NA BY FORCE TO MARRY? During a wedding reception; the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came up with:  1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.  2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car. 3. I am most grateful to my boss for... approving the loan I used for the wedding.  4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf. 5. Also to my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.  6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it. 7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for those who were served food good luck and for Those who didn't get any, well we will make it up to you during our child dedi

How to Approach GirlsHow To Get Girls!

How to Approach GirlsHow To Get Girls! Simple and effective Steps on how to approach a girl You are here because you need some advice on how to be less shy and quiet, and also need some tips on how to be more of a social person and how to start conversations without feeling shy. You know what this is a very common problem with many men while dating. If you’re too busy trying to make them likeyou and showing them how caring you are they tend to lose interest. No matter what any lady says they don't like being the boss of the relationship all the time. The problem is that males find it hard to adjust to being around female company. They tend to tighten up and think more about what they shouldn't say rather than what they should. It's just a matter of really saying what you want, don't watch what you say cause that's usually what causes the "memory blank".90% of the time men are not shy they are just too worried about what to say and what not to say wh

False Limitations

False Limitations Henry Ford gave this world the V8 engine. He did not have much formal education. In fact, he did not go to school beyond the age of 14. He was intelligent enough to know there had to be a V8 engine but he was ignorant and didn't know how to build it. So he asked all his highly qualified, educated people to build one. But they told him what could be done and what couldn't. According to them, a V8 was an impossibility. But Henry Ford insisted on having his V8. A few months later he asked his people if they had the V8 and they replied, "We know what can be done and we also know what cannot be done and V8 is an impossibility." This went on for many months and still Henry Ford said, "I want my V8." And shortly thereafter the same people produced his V8 engine. How come? They let their imagination run beyond academic limitation.Education teaches us what can be done and sometimes also teaches us false limitations.It teaches us what we can do an

A CREED FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SUFFERED

A CREED FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SUFFERED I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey . . .I asked for health, that I might do greater things.I was given infirmity, that I might do better things ...I asked for riches, that I might be happy.I was given poverty, that I might be wise ...I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God .. .I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.I was given life, that I might enjoy all things ...I got nothing I asked for--but everything I had hoped for.Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.I, among all men, am most richly blessed!

You are a Masterpiece

You are a Masterpiece A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are,there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest glory - your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by manypeople. The group that does not accept you the way you are,is not your world.There is a world for each o

EVERY SUCCESS STORY IS ALSO A STORY OF GREAT FAILURE

EVERY SUCCESS STORY IS ALSO A STORY OF GREAT FAILURE Failure is the highway to success. Tom Watson Sr. said, "If you want to succeed, double your failure rate." If you study history, you will find that all stories of success are also stories of great failures. But people don't see the failures. They only see one side of the picture and they say that person got lucky: "He must have been at the right place at the right time."Let me share someone's life history with you. This was a man who failed in business at the age of 21 ; was defeated in a legislative race at age 22; failed again in business at age24; overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26; had a nervous breakdown at age 27; lost a congressional race at age 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47; lost a senatorial race at age 49; and was elected president of the United States at age 52.This man was Abraham Lincoln.Would you call him a failur

It’s For You

It’s For You Many people spend a lot of money to find happiness. You may have heard someone say, “Oh, if I could only have this or that, I would be the happiest person in the world!”Here’s a story to learn from today…At the end of World War I conditions in Europe were deplorable. Many people were hungry, homeless, and without jobs. Such was the case of this family. Father did not return from the war and the family struggledto stay alive.Father did not return from the war and the family struggled to stay alive.The brave widow one day heard about America, and she determined that she and her three children would someday go there. The family worked together to earn enough money for one ticket. It took a while, but finally the oldest son was on his way. Two years later the younger brother and his sister left for America. Mother was left alone. One day a large envelope arrived from America, and almost overwhelmed themother tore it open. There was the longed for ticket!The day of departure

A Moral Story

A Moral Story :  A Wise CountingLet us enjoy reading this story of A Wise Counting.Emperor Akbar was in the habit of putting riddles and puzzles to his courtiers. He often asked questions which were strange and witty. It took much wisdom to answer these questions.Once he asked a very strange question. Thecourtiers were dumb folded by his question.Akbar glanced at his courtiers. As he looked, one by one the heads began to hanglow in search of an answer. It was at this moment that Birbal entered the courtyard. Birbal who knew the nature of the emperor quickly grasped the situation and asked, “May I know the question so that I can try for an answer”.Akbar said, “How many crows are there in this city?”Without even a moment’s thought, Birbal replied “There are fifty thousand five hundred and eighty nine crows, my lord”.“How can you be so sure?” asked Akbar.Birbal said, “Make you men count, My lord. If you find more crows it means some have come to visit their relatives here. If you find

Difference Between Right And Wrong

Difference Between Right And Wrong Once many pupil from many parts of Japan came to attend seclusion weeks of meditation. During one of these gatherings One of them was caught stealing. Whole matter was reported to Bankei. All pupil requested Bankei to expel that person from gatherings but Bankei ignored the case.Again that person was caught in similar act of stealing and again people demanded Bankei to detain that person from gatherings but Bankei refused.  Pupil who asked for dismissal of thief got angry and drew up a petition and stated that If the person who is stealing is not dismissed then all other people will leave the gathering.This petition reached to Bankei. After reading petition he asked everyone to gather before him and said, “You are Wise Brothers. You know what’s right what’s wrong. You may go somewhere else to study if you wish but this brother doesn’t even know the difference between right andwrong. If i will not teach him then who will? Iam going to keep him here

Act Of Kindness And Goodwill

Act Of Kindness And Goodwill Mr. Phillips was just getting ready to leave his office and he remembered that hiswife had asked him to bring 1KG of Bananas. When He stepped out, he saw an ill-looking old lady across the road. She wasselling fresh bananas on the street. Mr. Phillips usually buys bananas from a grocery shop few blocks away from his office but since he was in hurry to reach home today, he thought about buying them from across the road only.He went to the old lady and asked her the price. She quoted $7 per 1KG. He told, “But the store where I usually buy from gives them for $5 per 1KG, can you not give me for the same price?” The Old Lady told, “No Sir, I can not afford to match that price. I can sell them to you at $6 per 1KG. That’s best I can afford to give you for.” Mr. Phillips told her, “never mind”. He left in his car towards the usual grocery shop.He went inside and picked up a good bunchof bananas. He went to the cashier to pay for them but he was surprised when

TOUCHY STORY

TOUCHY STORY A man reached 70 years of age and was affected by a disease which made him unable to urinate. The doctors told him that he needs an operation to cure the disease. He agreed to do the operation as the problem was giving him severe pain for days. When the operation was completed the doctor gave him a bill which covered all the costs. After looking at the bill, the man started crying. Upon seeing this, the doctor said "If the cost is too high then we could make some other arrangements for you. "The old man replied, "I am not crying because of the money but I am crying because God let me urinate for 70 years and He never sent me a bill!" Beloved, have you thanked God for His countless blessings today? Have you thought about the cost of oxygen in the hospital? Yet, God has given us free oxygen (air) since we were born.  Can we not see that God is so gracious, merciful and full of compassion? If you are truly grateful to God for your life

Hahhaha...😃😃..lol

Lol...... Lemme drop mine...... That awkward moment ur fat sister posts a pic and when u wanted to comment with, *nice pic* U mistakenly typed *nice pig* 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Ur koboko dey warm for hell fire

Wish

I wish l had car like that....A man was washing his new car when his neighbor asked him, "When did you get the car?" He replied "My brother gave it to me." The neighbor's response was, "I wish l hadcar like that." The man replied, "You should wish to have a brother like that." The neighbor's wife was listening to the conversation and she interrupted,"I wish I was a brother like that."

Ten Mins To Your Wedding

Ten minutes to your wedding u are called for a contract of 700million dollars,will you go for the contract or go for your wedding. 😃😃😃😃😃😄😄😅😅😅✔✔✅..lol

SILENT LOVE STORY

SILENT LOVE STORY From the very beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"As the guy is not good with his words, this often causes the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her anger on him. As for him, he only endures it in silence.After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated& decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, heproposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"The girl

what Will You Do? loool

Assuming u heard a knock✊ on ur door🚪...and u wanted to stand up to🚶🏻 open the door....in d process of standing up,u hit your leg😢 on the table beside your bed and fell down...while trying to stand u kicked the bucket of water🗑 that was right under your bed..the bucket of water emptied in your room🌊..as u wanted to pick up the bucket...due to d moisture of d floor..u slipped off and this time hit d shelf of books which all ur books📚 dropped into d water...the shelf deflected u and u landed on d bucket of water u were boiling with boiler...it shocked u mercilessly😰🤕... Throwing u up and down😭.. While it was throwing u up and down your left hand mistakenly hit your 44 inches plasma t.v🖥...and ur infinix zero4 📱was charging right under d t.v.. The t.v fell on ur phone.. And d both got destroyed.. Then u stood up to open d door🚪 cos d person was still knocking✊✊.... You open the door and you hear... "abeg you get pin mouth charger? What would you do? 😡

True Friend

A true friend is like a penis, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom , he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a vagina, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem. what kind of a friend are you to me? Penis, condom, bra or vagina friend? Do u know that the penis is the greatest breakfast ever?  According to doctors it has a mushroom head, a sausage body, two eggs and milk which provides nutrients. Thus making ladies healthy and full for 9 months. Besides it has 3 good manners too. 1. Its very courteous, it stands before it performs 2. It is very emotional, it weeps during performance  3. It is polite, it bows after  performing. Send to ladies 2 laugh and to men 2 make them happy and proud of themselves.                                             ⭕1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the woman herself offers the other one. And that was the orig

Practice Humility

Practice Humility Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled. The rider asked the corporal why he wasn't helping. The corporal replied, "I am the corporal; i give orders." The rider dismounted, went up and stood by the soldiers and as they were lifting the log, he helped them. With his help, the log got moved. The rider quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal and said, "The next time your men need help, send for the Commander-in-Chief." After he left, the corporaland his men found out that the rider was George Washington.The message is pretty clear. Success and humility go hand in hand. When others blow your horn, the sound goes further. Just think about it? Simplicity and humility are two hallmarks of greatness. Humility does not mean self-demeaning behavior.

True Or False

FEMALE WAHALA WHY ALWAYS FEMALES? FOR EXAMPLE : 1. Female dogs become so wicked when they give birth. 2. Female fowls chase people when they hatch. 3. Male lions don't eat humans no matter how hungry they are, but female lions do tear people apart. 4. Female human being spend average 28years of their lives asking for recharge cards from males... 5. And the most annoying one is... it is the female mosquitoes that causes MALARIA. Females get wahala! True or Flase ??

DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE There was a young boy who used to come for regular practice but always played in the reserves and never made itto the soccer eleven. While he was practicing, his father used to sit at the far end, waiting for him.The matches had started and for four days, he didn't show up for practice or the quarter or semifinals. All of a sudden he showed up for the finals, went to the coach and said,"Coach, you have always kept me in the reserves and never let me play in the finals. But today, please let me play." The coach said, "Son, I'm sorry, I can't let you. There are better players than you and besides, it is the finals, the reputation of the school is at stake and I cannot take a chance." The boy pleaded, "Coach, I promise I will not let you down. I beg of you, please let me play." The coach had never seen the boy plead like this before. He said, "OK, son, go, play. But remember, I am going against m

WE ARE ALL MOTIVATED - EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY

WE ARE ALL MOTIVATED - EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY This is a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunker who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different. The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am." They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy,

THE SCHOLAR'S FOUR QUESTIONS

THE SCHOLAR'S FOUR QUESTIONS There was once a great scholar. Everybody in the kingdom appreciated him because he was so learned. Unfortunately, inspite of his great learning he had great pride.One day this scholar put on a gold necklace and went to the palace of another king. He said, "Whoever can defeat me in wisdom will get this necklace. I challenge everybody!"All the scholars in that particular kingdom had heard about this scholar and they were afraid that they would lose. So they would not accept his challenge. The king was very sad that nobody would accept the challenge.Finally, the court jester said, I accept your challenge."The king had almost surrendered to the scholar but thought itwould be amusing to see his jester compete. He believed he was only a joker and would not be able to win the necklace.The court jester said, “I will ask you four questions. if you answer any of my questions correctly, then you will lose, but ifall your answers are incorrect,

A PUPPY

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A PUPPY A boy went to the pet store to buy a puppy. Four of them were sitting together, priced at Rs. 5000 each. Then there was one sitting alone in a corner. The boy asked if that was from the same litter, if it was for sale, and why it was sitting alone. The store owner replied that it was from the same litter, it was a deformed one, and not for sale. The boy askedwhat the deformity was. The store owner replied that the puppy was born without a hip socket and had a leg missing. The boy asked, "What will you do with this one?" The reply was it would be put to sleep. The boy asked if he could play with that puppy. The store owner said, "Sure." The boy picked the puppy up and the puppy licked him on the ear. Instantly the boy decided that was the puppy he wanted to buy. The store owner said "That is not for sale!" The boy insisted. The store owner agreed. The boy pulled out RS. 200 from his pocket and ran to get RS. 4800 from his mother. As he reached t

CAN YOU CULTIVATE ME?

CAN YOU CULTIVATE ME? It's common among single ladies to ask a man who proposed to them the following questions : Do you really love me? What do you feel for me? Are you sure I'm the right person for you ? It's not a crime to ask such a question but among others, the first question to ask the man before entering the relationship is: CAN YOU CULTIVATE ME? Genesis 2:15 'And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it'. God told Adam to cultivate the garden. You need a man that can cultivate you. To cultivate means to bring the best out of you, to advance you,to develop you. Don't marry a man who cannot improve you. Don't marry a man who cannot bring the best out of you. The Bible says two are better one. So,if you are not a better person since you started the relationship, you are in a wrong relationship. If the relationship is asking you to sacrifice your dignity,your value and worth, it's tim

YOUR STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES

YOUR STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES Take Inventory: Make a List of All Your Strengthsand Weaknesses. Write it on a Piece of paper and make an action plan accordingly.Successful people realize their limitations and build on their strengths. Focus on what you wantto do and be, rather than what you don't.

Consideration

Consideration -Must readOne day, a ten-year-old boy went to an ice creamshop, sat at a table and asked the waitress,"How much is an ice-cream cone?" She said,"seventy-five cents." The boy started counting the coins he had in his hand. Then he asked howmuch a small cup of ice-cream was. The waitress impatiently replied, "sixty five cents." The boy said, "I will have the small ice-cream cup." He had his ice-cream, paid the bill and left. When the waitress came to pick up the empty plate, she was touched. Underneath were ten cent coins as tip.The little boy had consideration for the waitress before he ordered his ice-crearn. He showed sensitivity and caring. He thought of others before himself. If we all thought like the little boy, we would have a great place to live. Show consideration, courtesy, and politeness. Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude.

WE SEE THINGS NOT THE WAY THEY ARE BUT THE WAY WE ARE

WE SEE THINGS NOT THE WAY THEY ARE BUT THE WAY WE ARE There is a legend about a wise man who was sitting outside his village. A traveler came up and asked him, "What kind of people live in this village, because I am looking to move from my present one?" The wise man asked, "What kind of people live where you want to move from?" The man said,"They are mean, cruel, rude." The wise man replied, "The same kind of people live in this village too." After some time another traveler came by and asked the same question and the wise man asked him, "What kind of people live where youwant to move from?" And the traveler replied, "The people are very kind, courteous, polite and good." The wise man said, "You will find the same kind of people here too."What is the moral of the story?Generally we see the world not the way it is but the way we are. Most of the time, other people's behavior is a reaction to our own.

JOKE....!!

JOKE!!! JOKE!!! JOKE!!!! You enter your bedroom and saw a strange man sitting on your bed. You tell him to get out and he refuses, you get angry and slap him. Amazingly, he vomits N10,000. You slap him again and he vomits N20,000, Another slap and he vomits N50,000. What would you do??? 1. Run away 2. Kidnap him 3. Call the police 4. Call your Pastor/Imam 5. Continue to slap him... Share the fun and hear funny answers

The Burning Desire

The Burning Desire A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong andkept him there until the boy started turning blue. Socrates pulled his head out of the water and thefirst thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked, 'What did you want the most when you were there?" The boy replied, "Air." Socrates said, "That is the secret to success. When youwant success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it." There is no other secret.A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment.Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results..

Riddle

I need your wisdom Here are 3 questions, Q1 : A Father offered a gift to his Daughter and told her......... i.   If you feel hungry, you may eat it. ii. If you feel thirsty, you may drink it. iii. If you feel cold, you may burn it. So, what is that gift d father presented to his daughter ? Your Ans : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q2 : There is an item / object which ......... i.   If it is dry, it weighs 2 kgs. ii. If it is wet, it weighs 1 kg. iii. If it is burned, it weighs 3 kgs. Your Ans : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q3 : What is it that comes : i.   Once in a year. ii.  Twice in a month. iii. Four times in a week. iv. Six times  in a day. Your Ans : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Time limit : 1day from now.  Forward to ur contacts and take help. This riddle is crazy..please group I have been thinking all week no answer just please tell me so I can at least answer

Always Pay Attention

First year University of Kenyatta medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered arou nd the table and there was a real dead body on the table.  The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mouth & TASTED it. Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's ANUS & tasted it. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all frowning.  Then the professor looked at them & said: "The more important 2nd quality is "Observation". I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger...Now learn to pay attention!!! Most of the students fainted!!  Lesson learnt: always learn to pay attention.

Check This out.

CHECK THIS OUT! Footballer-- 1week- $300,000 Graduate -- 100yrs-- $300,000. Yahoo boy.--4month $300,000 Teacher----- 500yrs--$300,000 Networker---6months---$300,000 Drug dealer-- 2days- $300,000 Politician-- 24hrs--$300,000 Armed robber- 10mins--$300,000. Choose Your Career Wisely!!! I've made my choice. Don't ask me what i chose. Make your own choice.   😁😁😁😁

Conditioned to loose...

Conditioned to loose... An eagle's egg was placed in the nest of a prairie chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking it was a prairie chicken. The eagle did what the prairie chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more than a few feet because that is what the prairie chickens did. One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. He asked the prairie chickens: "What is that beautiful bird?" The chickens replied, "That is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are just a prairie chicken." So the eagle never gave it a second thought, believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and died aprairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his lack of vision. What a waste! He was born to win, but was conditioned to lose.

MEANINGLESS GOALS

MEANINGLESS GOALS A farmer had a dog who used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one came he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. One day a neighbor asked the farmer "Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?" The farmer replied, "That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one." Many people in life behave like thatdog who is pursuing meaningless goals.Life is hard by the yard,but by the inch,it's a cinch.

SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE

SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE There was a hunter who bought a bird dog, the only one of its kind in the world. That could walk on water . He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw this miracle. At the same time, he was very pleased that he could show off his new acquisition to his friends. He invited a friend to go duck hunting. After some time, they shot a few ducks and the man ordered his dog to run and fetch the birds. All day-long, the dog ran on water and kept fetching the birds. The owner was expecting a comment or a compliment about his amazing dog, but never got one. As they were returning home, he asked his friend if hehad noticed anything unusual about his dog. The friend replied, "Yes, in fact, I did notice something unusual. Your dog can't swim."Some people always look at the negative side

Think Of Others

Think Of Others A man died and St. Peter asked him if he would like to go to heaven or hell. The man asked if he could see both before deciding. St. Peter took him to hell first and the man saw a big hall with a long table, lots of food on it and music playing. He also saw rows of people with pale, sad faces. They looked starved and there was no laughter. And he observed one more thing. Their hands were tied to four-footforks and knives and they were trying to get the food from the center of the table to put into their mouths. But they couldn't. Then, he went to see heaven. There he saw a big hall with a long table, with lots of food on the table and music playing. He noticed rows of people on both sides of the table with their hands tied to four-foot forks and knives also. But he observed there was something different here. People were laughing and were well-fed and healthy-looking. He noticed that they were feeding one another across the table. The result was happiness, prosp

THE MIDAS TOUCH

THE MIDAS TOUCH We all know the story of the greedy king named Midas. He had a lot of gold and the more he had the more he wanted. He stored all the gold in his vaults and used to spend time every day counting it.One day while he was counting a stranger came from nowhere and said he would grant him a wish. The king was delighted and said, "I would like everything I touch to turn to gold." The stranger asked the king, Are you sure?" The king replied, "Yes." So the stranger said, "Starting tomorrow morning with the sun rays you will get the golden touch." The king thought he must be dreaming, this couldn't be true.But the next day when he woke up, he touched the bed, his clothes, and everything turned to gold. He looked out of the window and saw his daughter playing in the garden. He decided to give her a surprise and thought she would be happy. But before he went to the garden he decided to read a book. The moment he touched it, it turned into g

LIFE IS A BOOMERANG

LIFE IS A BOOMERANG Whether it is our thoughts, actions or behavior, sooner or later they return and with great accuracy. Treat people with respect on your way up because you will be meeting them on your way down. The following story is taken from The Best of Bits & Pieces.Many years ago two boys were working their way throughStanfordUniversity. Their funds got desperately low, and the idea came to them to engage Ignacy Paderewski for a piano recital. They would use the funds to help pay their board and tuition.The great pianist's manager asked for a guarantee ofÄ$2,000. The guarantee was a lot of money in those days, but the boys agreed and proceeded to promote the concert.They worked hard, only to find that they had grossed only$1,600. After the concert the two boys told the great artist the bad news. They gave him the entire $1,600, along with a promissory note for $400, explaining that they would earn the amount at the earliest possible moment and send the money to him.

Lmao....

Dat arkward moment wen ur Dad scolds u on Whatsapp for being careless and threatens nt to pay ur fees, and u wanted to write "sori" den auto correct spelling changed it to "story".😂😂

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. Yet, it seems that many are becoming attracted to this subject, as evidenced by the many books, lectures and courses about it. This is a subject that is gaining popularity.It is quite common to hear people say: "Think positive!", to someone who feels down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not know what they really mean, or

Brain rack

Brain rack When I was 6years old, my sister was half mha age, now am 80years old, how old z she? Drop your answers ..lol

CORRUPTION CYCLE

CORRUPTION CYCLE: HOD to Lecturer: Sell these books to students for 5k each" Lecturer to Course Rep: Sell these text books to your people for 6k each" Course Rep to Course Mates:"the lecturers textbook is N6,500, if you don't buy it na carryover o" Students to Mothers: Mum they said we should buy textbook for 8k, if not i will not write the exams o" Mother to Husbands: Darling, this our child lecturers have come again o, how can dey ask students a textbook for 10k and the deadline is Monday o" My people where will Buhari start from?😫😫😫😫😫 Lolooolll

Are You Married Or Preparing For Marriage

Are u married or just preparing for marriage? Pls read dis: WHAT MUM TOLD SON ON A DAY BEFORE HIS WEDDING Mummy’s. boy, you are now a man. Tomorrow you will have a new mother, a new cook and a new person to share all your secrets with. It will no longer be me but her. Love your new mum even more than you love me. Before you walk into her arms forever, let me give you some words to guide you. There was a day I was arguing with your father. We were screaming, Tempers were high. I was angry and He was angry. Then I called him an idiot! He was shocked, He looked at me asking how dare I call him that, Immediately started calling him idiot, fool, stupid, crazy, I called him all sort of name. Guess what he did? He didn’t raise his hands to hit me. He just walked away, banging the door as he went out. My Son, If your father had hit me and destroyed my eyes, how will you feel sitting here with me today? How will you regard him as your father? Would you have been proud of him or wou

EFFORT IS IMPORTANT BUT!!!!

EFFORT IS IMPORTANT BUT!!!! A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!-->A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars."What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill." The man sent a bill that read: Tapping with

When The Wind Blows--Fear Not!

When The Wind Blows--Fear Not! A young man applied for a job as a farm hand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications, he said, "I can sleep when the wind blows." This puzzled the farmer. But he liked the young man and hired him. A few days later, the farmer and hiswife were awakened in the night by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been sat next to the fireplace. The young man slept soundly. The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that the farm tools had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the elements. The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly locked. Even the farm animals were calm. All was well! The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man's words, "I can sleep when the wind blows."Character as it applies to the smallest of duties brings about

This Is How Fights starts

That Is How The Fight Started: After church on Sunday, a wife saw her husband sitting quietly in the garden. She got concerned and decided to ask him, Wife: Hey darling, why are you sitting so quietly in the garden? What is it that is bothering you? Husband:I'm still thinking about the confession of our pastor. It's making me uncomfortable. Wife: What is it?" Husband: The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but ONLY ONE woman didn't want to sleep with him because she fears God." Wife: It must be that Madam Comfort! She thinks she's better than everyone of us! 😳😳😳 ** AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!!

When The Wind Blows--Fear Not!

When The Wind Blows--Fear Not! A young man applied for a job as a farm hand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications, he said, "I can sleep when the wind blows." This puzzled the farmer. But he liked the young man and hired him. A few days later, the farmer and hiswife were awakened in the night by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been sat next to the fireplace. The young man slept soundly. The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that the farm tools had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the elements. The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly locked. Even the farm animals were calm. All was well! The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man's words, "I can sleep when the wind blows."Character as it applies to the smallest of duties brings about

WOODEN BOWL

WOODEN BOWL A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the on

GIVE TIME TO UR FAMILY

GIVE TIME TO UR FAMILY The Story goes like this..............It's a lovely story of mother. Just read through tillthe end and let the things seep through your skin and you feel everymoment of the experience.After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to takeanother woman outto dinner and a movie.She said, "I love you, but Iknow this otherwoman loves you and would love to spend some time withyou."The other woman that my wife wanted me to visitwas my MOTHER, whohas been a widow for 19 years, but the demandsof my work andmy three children had made it possible to visit heronly occasionally.That night I called to invite her to go outfor dinner and amovie."What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My motheris the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or asurprise invitationis a sign of bad news."I thought that it wouldbe pleasant tospend some time with you," I responded."Just the two of us." She thought about it for amoment, and

HELP OTHERS WIN

HELP OTHERS WIN A few years ago at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100 yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy. They slowed down and looked back. They all turned around and went back. Every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bentdown and kissed him and said,"This will make it better." All nine linked arms and walked across the finish line together. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know one thing. What matters most in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What truly matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means

A GIFT OF LOVE

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A GIFT OF LOVE "Can I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold ofcloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing thathis life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy. "A boy, a big boy ... called me a freak." He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. Hedeveloped a gift, a talent for literature and music. "But you might mingle with other young people," his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart. The boy's father had a session with the family physician. Could not

KNOW YOUR VALUE

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KNOW YOUR VALUE A well-known speaker started off his public speech in a strange manner – by holding up a Rupee 1000 Note !! Holding up the Note high in the air in one of his hands, he addressed the eagerly looking curious audience, "Who would like this Rupee 1000 Note?" With great cheers almost all of them raised their hands with the shout, "I want it", "I want it" !! He said, "Oh! that's nice. Well, I am going to give this Note to one of you... But, first let me do this." Then, he crumpled the Note in his hands vigorously & now showed the awkwardly wrinkled 1000 Rupee Note by holding up high in his hand. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" The same hands went up in the air this time too."Well", he replied, "What if I do this?" and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe like a mad man. It seemed he is deriving great merriment in his unusual act. He picked it