Dhammy Kelly's Blog

Remember the saying, "you can't change other people, you can only change yourself." So if someone tells you that you have a poor attitude, don't try and convenience them otherwise as you won't change their mind. When someone tells us this we have a tendency to take a defensive attitude, instead focus on how you can change. Can you change attitudes of other people? Again, I would refer to the saying, "you can't change other people, you can only change yourself". You will end up becoming very frustrated if you try and change other people. Remember, you can only change yourself and how you deal with that individual.

I see people laughing and joking all around, but on my face there is no smile; instead there is a frown. I never laugh anymore; instead I cry, and I never stop to ask myself, "Why?" I heard we live and die by the choices we make, and there's only so much a person can take. So just remember life goes on, and it hurts when someone leaves and is gone. So always remember, keep your head up, because another door is opened every time one is shut.

On the day of the meeting, they all gathered at the Igwe’s palace, the Chief Priest was in attendance too. First Elder:  Igwe, like we discussed earlier about the problem on ground, we are all here to proclaim the verdict on what should be done. Igwe: Nodding his head and turning to Chinwedum “Since you have not been in attendance and you are here today, are you the real father of Nnamdi?” Chinwedum: Yes Igwe, he is my son. Igwe: In that case, Chief Priest what do you have to say about Ifeoma’s case? Chief Priest: Abomination is what you committed, in other to appease the gods and cleanse yourself and household,  Ifeoma you will have to walk naked from your house to the village square on the market day three times. Mama Ifeoma: She has to do all these even when she is no longer interested in the marriage? Chief Priest: I have not finished my verdict woman! Mama Ifeoma: Sorry, please continue. Chief Priest: All these will have to be done; you will also prov...

Two days to the meeting, Chinwedum paid a visit to Mama Nnamdi to inquire about the news spreading round the village and the meeting to be held. Chinwedum:How are you doing and why are you looking so unkempt? He asked as she ushered him in. Are you okay? Mama Nnamdi: I am doing okay, just been a little down but I will be fine. She said as they both sat opposite each other. Chinwedum: Nnamdi came to me a few days ago to inquire about his real identity, how did he get to know? Besides what are all these rumors going around? Mama Nnamdi: I am afraid the rumors are true and I'm sorry that he came to you before I did. I haven’t been myself lately. Chinwedum: This must have been hard on you and it's my fault, I shouldn’t have allowed you to get married to him while you were carrying my child. I don’t know how I'm supposed to relay this news to my family but I do hope they understand and accept him when the time comes. Mama Nnamdi: You'll be fine with time they wi...

Mama Ifeoma: Tukiafwa! My daughter cannot remain married to you oooo, God forbid. Nnamdi: look Mama, I am very sorry for all that has happened to your daughter but I am here to make amends, just give me one more  chance and I promise to make everything right. Mama Ifeoma: Are you deaf, didn’t you hear what I said ‘she shouted’. Nnamdi: Mama it’s me oooo, your son in-law. We can resolve any issues we have. Mama Ifeoma: which son in-law, which son in-law? She shouted Nnamdi: Mama Please, it is Nnamdi begging you he said still standing by the door side. Mama Ifeoma: Nnamdi or whatever you call yourself, My daughter is no longer interested in this marriage. Nnamdi: Mama Please. Mama Nnamdi: Don’t please me my friend, don’t  you  know you are an Osu and you are a slave. People like my daughter do not and will never have anything to do with you. Nnamdi: But we are married Mama. Mama Nnamdi: A marriage that was based on lies? Nnamdi: she is still my wife. ...

Chiwedum: then why are you here if you really do not want to hear all of this? Nnamdi: I came here because I wanted to know the truth. I wanted it not to be true. Chiwedum: am afraid it is the truth. Nnamdi: if that is the case, you are summoned by the village elders in two weeks. We will meet there then. Chiwedum: for what? Why the igwe? Nnamdi: because we need to find out if my kids will be mine or if they will belong to another. Chiwedum: what do you mean another? Nnamdi: ‘it’s obvious that you aren’t even aware of all that is going on, I guess you should call the woman you cheated on my father with for her to explain better to you’ he said and walked away. == For days, Nnamdi kept to himself away from his mother and his brother. He hardly stays in the family house except when he is drunk and sober that he comes home late at night shouting and crying saying all the people he loves betrayed him, the one person he taught he could call family and give his all to. Thi...

Nnamdi: ignoring her mother in-law said ‘Ifeoma, we can talk about this in the privacy of our own home. don’t let what happen to us affect our children and I promise to be a better man and a husband to you and our kids.’ Ifeoma: I am sorry Nnamdi, if I had known you were the product of an outcast; I wouldn’t have had anything to do with you. Now that the situation is all glaring, I want my children and I to have nothing to do with you from now on. Nnamdi: ‘Ifeoma Please’ he pleaded. Ifeoma: I cannot remain married to you and it is my final decision my elders. First Elder: in that case, you all will hear the final judgment of all issues  in our next meeting which will be in the igwe’s palace with the chief priest of our land. Second Elder: Ha! Has it come to that? First Elder: Yes it has because the matter is not only for elders to decide upon anymore since there are so many untold stories and a lot of atrocities have been committed. Mama Nnamdi: My Elders, please do ...

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Nnamdi: No, this cannot be true, are you saying that my father is an outcast Mama? Mama Nnamdi: Yes he is. And we all know that outcast do not marry anyone else from the same community except there kind. I have been wanting to keep this secret away from you so that you won’t be labeled an outcast but now it is out, you now know where you belong. Nnamdi: is that the real reason why you didn’t marry him? Mama Nnamdi: That was the real reason Nnamdi. Even if I had allowed it, my people would have cut all ties with me and Obi’s father became my best option. Obi: But Mother, I thought you said you married him because he had a bright future? Mama Nnamdi: ‘that was part of it but the real reason was because I couldn’t marry Chiwedum for he is an outcast while your father’ he said to Obi ‘was not’. He was also loved by my people and he loved me in return. Mama Ifeoma: Chei! She screamed ‘Alu! Abomination. So you mean to tell me Mama Nnamdi that my own daughter married an outcast a...

Few days to the day the meeting will be held, Mama Nnamdi tried talking to her son again for he has kept to himself and not wanting to have anything to do with her. Mama Nnamdi: ‘we need to talk Nnamdi’ she said to her son who was in the sitting room all alone and lost in thought. Nnamdi: Mama please do not say anything to me until the day we have the meeting. Its a few days from now. Mama Nnamdi: ‘is that the reason why you have refused to have anything to do with me? You have refused to eat my food and talk to me, please Nnamdi’ she begged. Nnamdi: if you so need company Mama, I am not your only son. Mama Nnamdi: Nnamdi please! Nnamdi: I have said my own, I do not want to talk with you, talk more of even eating your food or saying anything to you. Mama Nnamdi: do you hate me that much? Nnamdi: hmmm…are you asking me that question? Mama Nnamdi: do you hate me that much as to want to have nothing to do with me? Nnamdi: for all the lies? Yes Mama, I hate you that mu...

Mama Nnamdi: Nnamdi please give me a chance to explain what really happened. Nnamdi: Explained? What is there to explain Mama, what is there to explain? Mama Nnamdi: Atleast here my own side of the story then you will know the reason why I did what I did. Nnamdi: I really want to hear you tell me all of it but I will be wait till the next meeting so that you will tell your shameful act to the whole world. Mama Nnamdi: If that is what you want but atleast give me the chance to tell it to you first. Nnamdi: Why should I Mama? Why should I? Mama Nnamdi: Because I am your mother and I will never lie to you. Nnamdi: did you just say you will never lie to me? Mama Nnamdi: Yes I just did. Listen Nnamdi, I may have done so many terrible things but no matter what I do, I love you will all my heart and… Nnamdi: Spare me all the love talk Mama, you lied to me about who I really am and what makes you think I will want to listen to all you have to say. Mama Nnamdi: because you ...

Nnamdi: is this a joke or what Obi, what kind of question are you asking Mama? Obi: ‘No it is no joke’ he said to Nnamdi ‘we may share the same mother but we definitely do not share the same father’ he said boldly. Nnamdi: Mama, tell me what Obi is saying is a lie, prove him wrong please. Mama Nnamdi: I am finished oooo. what did I do to deserve all this? Nnamdi: Mama will you speak up biko, is what Obi saying true? Mama Nnamdi: ‘Nnamdi my son, where do I start from’ she lamented. Nnamdi: ‘Mama Speak up please, is what Obi saying true and who is my real father’ he shouted. Mama Nnamdi: I thought I will go to my grave with this secret oooo. How will I explain it to you for you to understand biko nu! Nnamdi: So what Nnamdi is saying is true? Chei! I am dead. First it was my wife and now, it is my own mother. My own mother! the woman whom  I could give myself  for. Who is my father and you better start talking because nobody is going anywhere today oooo until you...

Nnamdi: because I am her son and she loves me. Obi: of course you are her son and she loves you but that is not all there is to it. Mama Nnamdi: What are you trying to say Obi, spill whatever you are trying to say. Obi: You see Mama, you have really gone out of your way to paint Ifeoma as a bad person whearas you are worse than her. Nnamdi: Watch what you say about our mother else you will hear it from me this evening. Obi: Of course she is our mother but has she really told you her deepest secrets? Mama Nnamdi: What secrets do you think I have, I am not like Ifeoma that is devilish. Obi: Actually Mama, you are more devilish than she is. Nnamdi: ‘Obi watch your tongue’ he screamed. Third Elder: What is going on here and Obi, what are you trying to say? Obi: My mother has gone ahead in claiming that Ifeoma is the devil, maybe it’s time she let us know her deepest secrets also. Mama Nnamdi: I do not have any secrets as shameful as that of Ifeoma’s own, I do not hav...

Obi: Are you sure Mama, are you sure that you will walk away than bring shame? Are you sure of what you are saying? Mama Nnamdi: Yes I am sure Obi, I rather die than let this kind of shame be known to the world. Obi: Oh Mama Please, stop calling kettle black because you are no different from her. Nnamdi: Obi, mind how you talk to our mother, watch your mouth before I do something drastic to you here. Obi: Turning to Nnamdi ‘I am sorry that I had an affair with your wife but as the truth is out of its hiding place, I want to have custody of my kids. I don’t want them to be with you anymore Nnamdi. Nnamdi: What? Are you out of your mind? After committing such a horrible offence, you boldly tell me to my face that you want my children? You must be insane I can see. Obi: My Elders, please I am ready to  do anything as the customs demand to take my children away from my brother. I want my children with me because they are my flesh and blood. Third Elder: ‘Impossible, Impo...

Elders Chorused together: Alu Eme! Alu! Abomination. Mama Nnamdi: My People, there must be a mix up somewhere. Bia, Obi nwam, we are asking Ifeoma who the father of her three children is. Obi: ‘and I said I am the one’ he said boldly. Nnamdi: ‘so you mean that you have been the one sleeping with my wife in my Absence’ he rushed to Obi and punched him on his face while the three elders ran to him  and held on tight to him in other for him not to fight his brother. Mama Nnamdi: ‘What have I done oooo’ she shouted ‘what have I done to warrant all this? Chi mo! Chimo! I am finished. Why Obi, why? Your own brother’s wife. Nnamdi: you did idiot whom I clothe, feed and made you who you are, how could you do this to me by sleeping with my wife, how could you? First Elder: Nnamdi calm down. Nnamdi: ‘No my elders, leave me let me go to him and give him the beating of his life, how could he sleep with my own wife’ he struggled out of their hold while Ifeoma and her mother stood...

Three weeks Later First Elder: Ehen my people, now that we are gathered here based on the event of last three weeks, Nnamdi is here to finally tell us what the result of the allegation is, if it is true or false. Nnamdi: ‘Ermm after all the findings it was confirmed that what Ifeoma, my wife said is true’ he said with his head bent. Second Elder: Chei! Alu! Alu! So you mean all this while, the son you thought you had was never yours? Nnamdi: Yes. Third Elder: What about the allegation that you can never father a child, how true is that? Nnamdi: Shamelessly he said ‘also true’. Mama Nnamdi: Chei! Nwam mo! My enemies have succeeded in making mockery of me oooo. Chei! What sins have I and my family committed? First Elder: So now that the findings have been made, knowing that you cannot father a child or anything, do you still want your three children from Ifeoma? Nnamdi: I still have to know who their father is. First Elder: Ifeoma, since you are here, will you pl...

Mama Nnamdi: Ehen, what was the result of the test? Nnamdi: What do you mean shattered your life because you know I already have a son outside marriage. Ifeoma: Yes I know Nnamdi, I know that because that was what you wanted to believe. Nnamdi: What do you mean? Ifeoma: While I remained married and faithful to you, you called me a barren wife. While I looked for solution to our problems, you went ahead to sleep with anything and anyone on skirt. You betrayed the trust I had in you.  You and your mother made a fool of me by wanting to bring another woman into my home and when she couldn’t succeed, that was when your mistress decided to carry your child, how unbelievable. Nnamdi: But atleast, she was and still faithful for I am the only man in her life and she has my son. Ifeoma: ‘Oh! Poor you Nnamdi’ she smiled ‘I have no regrets having an affair with another man because by  doing so, I have three wonderful kids and I am ready to leave this marriage without loo...